Wednesday, June 29, 2011

The Evolution of A Peculiar Salutation

My girlfriend and I have developed a peculiar new form of greeting. She says,  “I love you. I’m sorry.” I say,  “I’m sorry,  I love you.”  The greeting is good upon leaving the house,  exiting the room,  or just looking up to see the other at work. It evolved because she would often say “I love you.” with multiple inflections,  meaning everything from “How’d I get so lucky?” to “Everything’s gonna be alright.”  But most often,  she was saying,  “I’m sorry” for things she wasn’t even responsible for. I let her know I preferred it if she saved “I love you” For when she really meant just that. Suddenly,  the preponderance of “I’m sorries” exploded and that got to me too. So I told her she didn’t need to always be apologizing. To which she explained that she said it when she felt helpless to help me with whatever I was going through (Parking ticket, lack of career, whatever). I finally realized my asking her to amend her language was making her feel constricted, so in order to create space around both phrases, I started saying, “I love you I’m sorry, ” almost as one sentence, without even pausing sometimes. She switched it around and now we take turns to see who gets in the last "i’m sorry i love you." For some reason this totally cracks us up. But I have a hunch others might not understand.
What kind of peculiar games have you made up with your loved one that others might find confounding?

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